Still alive.

Seriously, I'm so unhappy now!
A person had taught me, I must be strong and independent to face all the hardships.
I cried again yesterday night and I couldn't find someone to listen my story.
I'll be strong and I will not find someone to help me again.

Do you know why you hurt me badly?
You ask me try to say out what I'm thinking.
You said you still love me.

I really don't know.

You're not the guy that I can fully depend on you.

Thanks.

You're my best friend who accompany me always when I was sad. Although you treat me bad always. But you're the one who I can find when I don't know how to face the problem.

Thank you so much my dear friend ♥

The first day of war

Spm had started in this early morning. I was extremely nervous until I can hear the beating sound of my heart.     After today's examination, I felt so sad for my BM paper 2 because I had lost a lot of marks from that paper. I wished the pemeriksa kertas will give me some marks because I had wrote a lot of points for novel but I didn't list the moral values out. My heart was broken when I heard my friends discussing about the novel. I told myself not to cry. We can't change the fact.

Tomorrow paper is BI. It is a very hard subject for me because my english is sucked and I have poor grammar skills. I have tried to memorize some new vocabulary and also some grammar skills. I hope that I can get at least B for the 1119 essays in SPM. I had put some efforts on it. God bless me please.

Reading the notes about step by wicked step, I have no idea and no mood to study. I don't know what can I study for english except the poems. So, I came here to blogging. I just read the theme and the moral values from the notes. I realize that I can understand well and go in the story when I'm reading the notes. Maybe because of I'm also a girl who came from a broken family so I can understand well the feeling of the characters. The theme for the novel is acceptance. It's said acceptance is very crucial to the people who faces the divorce happens. Seems the children were young but they had high maturity to accept and adapt their new live although they could not accept at first. They learnt how to tolerate with their new parents and relatives and work hard to build up a good relationship between them just likes me. I had accepted my mother have a new husband again when my sister told me. I was no surprised when I heard my sis said. I'm an observing girl.

Fine, I have to leave my blog here. Will be continue. Thanks. :)
Jiayou!

SPM left 10 days.

A post before the war begin

Last Tuesday was Chung Hwa Form 5 Student's Graduation Day. I cried that day. Felt not to leave my school and friends. A lot of memories were flashed back when I viewed the video.
I still can remember the first day that I came to Chung Hwa. I met a lot of primary school friends there and knew many new friends. There were many sweet memories that I can't erase it. We played, we laughed, we cried, we shouted..........
I knew it's time to separate with them and my lovely teachers. I felt I have grew up that time. Said goodbye to secondary school's life. Walking toward the reality life. I'm scared.
Tomorrow the war will start. Yea, it's SPM. I can't even sleep tight yesterday. Felt nervous and a little bit of stress. Maybe after the BM paper, I will feel more comfortable. I think so.
Everyone start to do their revision hardly. I still stand at the origin. I read, I wrote, I did past year questions. I don't know I can withstand the war how long....
Jiayou,my dear. :)

Can, my dear.

There are 9 days more to go. SPM is really around the corner. I'm still the one who being lazy all the time. Seriously, I haven't prepare anything for my exam. Study history everyday but not really memorize or remember the chapter that I read. I don't know whether it is useful for me or not. It's time to burn the midnight oil from now. I wish I will do that successfully. 

Book is opened but I'm facing computer to do something useless. Feel like wanna blogging so i came. People are very hardworking to burn their book and brain but I do nothing. Hoping to get better result but don't really put effort on it. Looking other people are very relaxing to enjoy their holiday. Seems like SPM is nothing. I can't think like that. Parents have put high expectation on me. I'm the second of him. Can't lose! :/

So, why you still blogging? Go to study, my dear :)

If you can , you can !

Back.

Hey, my blog, I'm back.
A very long long time didn't update my blog. I'm lazy, I knew.

SPM is around the corner.
I haven't prepare at all. I'm scared to view the calendar. I don't want to know what date is today. I don't want to know how many days left. Just keep on doing exercise without reading any book except history.
I don't have any confidence this time. Hoping to get a good result but don't want to try hard. I don't want give myself too stress. Exam is nothing. But I have to study too.
Two more weeks left...

JiaYou. :/

随笔

我发现自己真的很懒惰更新部落了 今年的文章很少
有时候想写 但是不知道怎样写 那就算了吧 就是那么样
不行 我得逼逼自己 要有更新部落的好习惯 因为我发现我的文笔越来越差了 写的作文一塌糊涂

还有几天就要面对SPM预考 其实我一点不紧张 也许这句话让人听到后 会觉得我很跩
哇？ 原来你已经做好准备 不怕了啦？ 的那种感觉
我的却不紧张啊 就像平时那样考试 我读好我的书 这样上战 也许在战场上 我会被打得落花流水 但是紧张也不是个好办法呀
说真的 这个星期的假期 我暂时读了 两科科目 其实我不知道有没有帮助 感觉读了 还是那么样 但是算了吧 至少给自己有个保障 我总算读好它 就好了 :)

待会跟我那两个朋友有约 到肯德基读书？ 呵呵
其实这次会约他们也是因为他啦 不想他一个人每次觉得emo emo的 让自己不开心的生活
我明白他那种感受 我也是过来人 因为以前的我就是那样 所以脾气也暴躁 心情每次都处于在不开心的状态
我懂这次出去我会浪费了时间去读书 因为我是个不能group study的人 我会分心很够力 哈哈
但是没关系吧 就一天 陪陪朋友 也是好的 :)

早上 在面子书的首页就看到你的状态 我觉得你说的那个人是我 你就当我自恋 自己以为是我吧
对 你说的没错 我们没变 只是长大了 共同话题没了
不是不想找你的聊天 要sms你 怕你没钱 面子书上 你每次都处在下线状态 就算找到你 你不就是给个我 diam hiao o 罢了
其实昨晚想跟你聊天的 只是看见你那敷衍敷衍的回复 我就算了吧 我去睡了
有时候不明白你。

老公今天去了沙巴 说真的我还蛮想他 :(
我跟老公还是那样很好 吵架还在一起 撒娇也在一起 玩耍也在一块儿
感谢还走到今天 :)
说真的 有点不舍老公去沙巴那么远 虽然还在马来西亚 但是沙巴还是很远=3=
希望他快点回家 平平安安回家
下星期一我要看到这黑黑的大胖猪 ><

待续。

心情笔录

博客呀 博客 最近好像有好多事想向你倾诉 不懂那算是不是心事 还是其实只是琐碎事

这一年 我发现自己的警觉性提高了很多很多 也发现了身边的朋友都有另一面 这面是大家很难察觉的
我不懂是自己想太多 还是什么 就是感觉 其实有些朋友在大家的眼中 是个很好的朋友 其实他翻脸时 或是在你不成全一些事的时候 那个真面目 真的显现出来
以往的我 很单纯 真的有点想笑 以为友谊可以那么单纯 其实一点都不单纯
我的班看起来很融洽 其实某某他会讨厌某某个他 但相处起来 某某他跟某某他会假装得很好 我班就是由很多那样的人
有点怕 其实我就是被讨厌的那个某某他
一些朋友真的看清他们的另外一面 有时候在沟通上还是行为上 我都会加以注意 就是怕惹上其他不必要的事
有时候 要配合 真的有点 不懂怎么说。
不真实的感觉。

还是那个第三者的事 他总算看见我不开心了 他发现了 我只好假装说没啦 我在想东西 很快把自己快乐起来 不想那么明显让他知道
今天在美术室 突然跟另外的他聊了一点点的心事 就是你我之间的事
有时候女生的直觉蛮准 不是我太爱想了
有时候不选着告诉你一些心事 自己窝在心中 自己也开始不耐烦 脾气暴躁 你不懂
我总觉得你会帮着其他人 其实你解释过 但是我不谅解
我曾经有这么想过 怎么让你妈会喜欢我 我试着 但就是不懂
不喜欢他那么说我们 我补习不是说拍拖 我也有专心听课的好不？
有时候我真的想要乘坐另外一辆车 有点不想对着他

我会是真努力 给成绩进步。

随笔

昨晚哈尼哭了 我不懂他发生了什么事
他没心情说 我也不勉强他
我很努力的安慰他 想让他开心点 但是还是没那么成功
睡前 自己为老公祈祷 希望他能好好睡觉 不会被那些事影响

不管怎么样 老婆会陪伴你的 最爱你 ♥

有点。害怕

荒废了一星期的宝贵时间在弹弹 是时候关了它 不玩了
恩 最近控制了自己的时间 没玩那么久了
一直给自己借口 好了 今天最后一天 真的最后一天 结果呢 还是继续玩

剩下一个星期了 无意间在网上看见 原来还有154天就是SPM大考了
就只剩下那差不多的5个月 看起来还挺久 其实我不觉得

我有点吓到 怎么办？ 快要考试了 感觉上我什么都没准备好
拿手的一科——美术 不见的会好到哪里去 惨在我不会那ABC啊
全部都在半桶水 甚至在边界 差不多是要不及格了
开学后真的不敢看自己的成绩

这次考试没给自己压力 考不是很好 不哭了 虽然心里还是有点点点点的不开心
自从去年 我发现自己好像有点问题了 我不想让自己有那忧郁症 即使是轻微的 也不要
我不给自己压力 我有尽力就好

要加油，我的你，也是 ♥